


The Courtship of Castiel Novak

by patroclus



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Castiel is a little dense, Deanna doesn't give a damn about gender stereotypes, F/F, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, girl!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-02-20
Packaged: 2018-01-13 04:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1213354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patroclus/pseuds/patroclus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On hindsight, Castiel thinks he should have seen this coming from the start.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Courtship of Castiel Novak

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by the lovely [mudkip](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mudkip/)! <3

On hindsight, Castiel thinks he should have seen this coming from the start. 

Should have known that his life in this new town would be nothing but mundane from the moment he noticed a pair of eyes staring unbashedly at him standing in the front of the classroom.

He barely catches what the teacher says to introduce him to the class, frowning slightly at the girl in the last row. Castiel’s been told he tends to stare a lot, but he’s rarely been at the receiving end of it and doesn’t quite know how to respond. He’s always been that guy that nobody remembers unless they bumped into him or something; the typical quiet nerd with his sweater vests and nose always buried in a book.

So he does what he thinks is the most natural response -- he stares back.

He tries to read her face for her any signs or reasons for why she’s staring at him, but he loses track as he takes in her appearance. His gaze moves from her green eyes that are accentuated by eyeliner and her long lashes to her sharp nose, plump lips and high cheekbones. His eyes turn downwards slightly as he trails her hair coming down the sides of her face in gentle waves, and Castiel feels his breath hitch.

It’s not the first time Castiel’s noticed someone attractive before, but it’s the first time his acknowledgement of it goes beyond a mere oh. Something about the girl is just magnetic, but he can’t figure out what it is.

“Castiel?”

The teacher’s voice brings him back from a trance he didn’t even know he fell into, and he flushes slightly when he realises that the rest of the class is staring at him now too. Thankfully, the teacher smiles kindly at him repeats herself, telling him to find a seat. Of course, with Castiel’s luck, the only empty seat left is next to the girl. So he takes in a deep breath, feeling nervous already, and walks to the back of the classroom.

He tries to avoid eye contact even though he doesn’t understand why he’s doing so, feeling jittery all of a sudden. He can feel her eyes still on him, but only dares to steal a glance once he has put all of his things down and the teacher starts to ramble on about administrative matters for the first day of the term.

He immediately locks eyes with hers, and something tightens in his chest when he notices how her eyes look even more startlingly good up close. He realises that she’s smirking too, as though she expected him to turn to face her eventually. He feels himself blush even though he’s technically done nothing wrong, looking back down at the table. 

Laughter bubbles from her throat, and Castiel can’t help but think it’s the most melodic laughter he’s heard. He thinks he turns even more red at that, but the laughter manages to diffuse some of the tension so he chances another look. She’s smiling widely now, pushing her hair out of her face with her hand as she speaks.

“Hey, new kid,” she greets, just soft enough for the teacher not to overhear. “The name’s Deanna. What’s yours?”

It’s as though he’s swallowed his tongue, brain overloading at the frontal assault of her undivided attention. Castiel finally realises he’s gaping after what feels like forever and shuts his mouth quickly, gulping as his throat suddenly feels too dry. Deanna only chuckles.

“Castiel,” he says at last, though he barely manages not to croak.

Deanna raises an eyebrow at him. “Huh. Never heard of that name before.”

“I was named after the angel of Thursday,” Castiel says almost instantly, a reply that’s practically automatic after years of getting similar responses. “My father is very religious.”

Deanna frowns at that, but it’s gone as quickly as it came.

“Seeing as how I was named after my grandmother, I don’t think I have any right to make fun of you,” she says. “But I think I’ll call you ‘Cas’. Short and sweet, yeah?”

It’s the first time someone other than his brothers giving him a nickname, but Castiel can’t find it in himself to mind. The way it rolls off Deanna’s tongue makes his stomach turn a little, but in a good way, so he nods.

And that’s how they start.

 

*

 

Deanna manages to find him at the cafeteria, pulling him towards her table. It leaves Castiel a little flustered, honestly, because he thought she only approached him to satisfy her curiosity when she first saw him, but he doesn’t question it. He hasn’t had someone to sit with at lunch ever since Gabriel graduated from their old school, and he’s glad for the company.

The table Deanna brings him to is already occupied with three other people, and they all look up with curious glances when Deanna pulls Castiel down to sit next to her. There’s a boy with long hair seated across the table, and even though he’s sitting down, Castiel can tell the boy is a giant, long limbs and broad shoulders and all. He has his arm wrapped around the waist of the pretty blonde beside, who smiles at Castiel when she sees him staring, and Castiel ducks his head in embarrassment. He glances at the girl beside Deanna instead, another blonde who looks petite compared to the couple across from them, but is undeniably pretty as well. Not for the first time, Castiel wonders if there’s an unseen force that brings attractive people together.

“Hey guys, meet Cas,” Deanna says, reaching for one of Castiel’s fries. “He’s new here.”

“Hey,” the guy says, an odd look on his face as his eyes dart between Deanna and Castiel. The other two girls wave at him, and Castiel can only hope his returned smile isn’t as strained as Gabriel always told him it was.

“This is Jo,” Deanna says, jabbing the fry in the direction of the girl next to her. “The guy with the unfortunate haircut is my little brother Sam--”

“Bitch,” Sam says, but Castiel doesn’t see any malice in his eyes.

Deanna only rolls her eyes as she stuffs the fry into her mouth. “Jerk.”

“And I’m Jess,” the other girl introduces, smiling again. “What brings you to this town?”

Castiel’s throat feels too dry for him to reply, so he has to drink a mouthful of his juice first. He wonders if it’s because he’s in such close proximity to Deanna, or if he’s just not used to talking to this many people in a single day.

“My father was offered a job here,” he says at last, though he doesn’t elaborate. He’s still not too sure what his father does (he only knows it has something to do with the law), and since his father is practically never at home, he never has the chance to ask. “My brothers are all in college now and are living in their dorms, so moving was not a big issue.”

“Huh,” Jo says, frowning. “You didn’t mind leaving your old school just like that? God knows how big a fight I would have gotten into with my mum if she did the same thing.”

“I had no particular… attachments to my old school,” Castiel says slowly. “I saw no reason to be upset.”

He wonders if this is the wrong thing to say almost immediately, because the three of them start giving him strange looks. Thankfully, though, Jess seems to notice his distress because she asks, “So how do you find this place?”

 _Stunning_ , he thinks, glancing at Deanna. _Slightly overwhelming_. But instead he says, “It is… Pleasant. But it may be too early to make any proper judgements.”

Jo laughs at this, punching Deanna laughing lightly on the shoulder. “God, where did you find him? He sounds just like Spock!”

Castiel doesn’t get the reference, but Jo’s laughter suggests that it isn’t an insult, so he doesn’t say anything. His confusion must show, however, because Deanna stares at him, gaping.

“You don’t know who Spock is,” Deanna says incredulously. “Really? Star Trek? Captain Kirk? _None_ of it rings a bell?” Then she throws her fry back down onto the tray, and Castiel feels as though he’s insulted her in some way. “That’s it, I’m going to call Charlie and then we’re going to have a Star Trek marathon this weekend -- the 1960’s one _and_ the remake.”

“Oh good, I love Chris Pine,” Jess says dreamily, and Castiel has to hide his smile at the way Sam frowns and tightens his arm around Jess.

“You’re lucky I found you,” Deanna says as she steals more of Castiel’s fries.

Castiel finds himself agreeing, even though it occurs to Castiel that Deanna did not ask if he was free over the weekend first, and decides that he never really liked fries anyway.

 

*

 

It should be disconcerting how easy it is for them to become friends after that, but it isn’t at all. Even after his introduction to the Starship Enterprise and its crew, Deanna hasn’t stopped talking to Castiel in the other classes they share and in the hallways, her energy infectious.

He also gets closer to the rest. He enjoys Sam’s company very much, since they both share a rare interest in their studies. Sam wants to be a lawyer, he learns, but he still likes to talk about anything that piques their interest from the books they borrow from the library. He’s particularly fond of discussing religion from an academic standpoint, having found out that Castiel’s Uncle Zachariah is a theology professor, and Castiel provides whatever information he’s learnt from his uncle when he can.

Jess is always nice to him, and sometimes almost so motherly it makes his heart ache. She’s not exactly quiet, but she doesn’t have a overwhelming presence like Deanna does. She’s the one laughing at their shenanigans instead of starting them. Still, Castiel knows that the group wouldn’t be the same if she wasn’t there; Jess is the mediator more often than not, and she always makes sure that everyone is okay. Sam is incredibly lucky to have her. 

Jo is great too. She’s passionate and friendly, and if Castiel had younger siblings, he thinks they would be like her. He feels an almost instinctual need to protect her sometimes, but at the same time, he knows Jo is perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

He doesn’t meet up with Charlie that often, since Charlie doesn’t go to their school (she’s Deanna and Sam’s neighbour and studying at a local college), but Castiel likes her too. “Oh my god,” she said, when he first met her and she learnt the story behind his name. “I can go around introducing you as _Charlie’s angel_.” Then she learnt about Castiel’s extreme lack of pop culture knowledge, and had since made it her personal mission to teach him as much she can.

But he’s inexplicably drawn to Deanna the most. He still doesn’t know why Deanna chose to talk to him on his first day. Where he’s awkward and quiet in both appearance and personality, she’s vibrant and striking. Deanna may not be one of those popular girls at school (as indifferent as Castiel wants to be, it’s nearly impossible not to notice the painfully harsh social hierarchy in high school), but even he notices the numerous pairs of jealous eyes following her. She moves around with confidence, a bright aura surrounding her that Castiel is almost certain everyone else sees, and her laughter always fills the room. And she welcomes Castiel into her life like it’s nothing, like she genuinely wants to get to know him. Which he doesn’t mind at all, of course; he just doesn’t know _why_. Castiel is just that new kid.

He gets a feeling it’s maybe because she’s amused by him. He’s noticed that she tends to laugh at his responses, and it only manages to make him more perplexed, because any other person would probably just call him weird and never talk to him again. Textbooks filled with chemical equations and numbers he can understand, but Deanna is a puzzle he still has yet to figure out.

There are some things Castiel knows, though. He knows that she has a fondness for classic rock (but that may be putting it mildly), that she has a 1967 Chevy Impala that she adores and would give her life for, and there’s that fierce protectiveness lying underneath the rough and devil-may-care attitude she appears to have. He sees this whenever she talks about Sam. 

(Once, when some jock started to pick on Sam for his hair, Deanna had immediately stormed up to him, murderous intent clear in her eyes. If it weren’t for Jo and Sam holding her back, the guy would have left with more than just a black eye. It didn’t stop her from glaring daggers at the guy whenever she walked by him, though, and needless to say, the jerk never bothered Sam again.

Castiel thinks that it has something to do with the fact that she threatened to come with five-inch heels next time, if he ever tried to go near Sam again.)

He learns another thing about Deanna when Sam calls him a few weeks later to come over. Sam doesn’t explain much on the phone, just telling Castiel to come over as soon as he can. Castiel can hear the sound of Deanna moaning in the background, and he feels ashamed of the heat that rises in him. 

He is worried too, though, so he quickly leaves a note he knows his father will never read before rushing over. The town is small, fortunately, so it only takes him fifteen minutes to get to their house by bus. The door opens almost immediately after he knocks on it, revealing a very flustered-looking Sam. 

“Oh thank god you’re here,” Sam says, stepping aside to let Castiel in. “I can’t handle her on my own.”

 Before Castiel can make anything out of Sam’s greeting, there’s a loud groan of pain from the inside of the house, followed by a loud, “ _Fucking hell!_ ”

 “What’s wrong?” Castiel asks anxiously, kicking his shoes off and walking inside. “Is Deanna sick?”

“Worse,” Sam says ominously, as he leads Castiel to his sister’s room. He stops outside her door. “Period cramps.”

Then he opens the door, gesturing at Castiel to head on in first.

“You’d better be back with pie, Sammy, or you’re going to walk to school for the rest of the--” Deanna starts to yell, but stops when she sees Castiel. Castiel can’t help but stare again, because it’s the first time he’s been inside Deanna’s room and also the first he sees Deanna’s bare face, and it almost feels as though they’re back in homeroom the first time Castiel arrived in school. He knows Deanna doesn’t wear a lot of makeup, but it’s like he’s seeing her in a new light, and the sight of her is breathtaking.

Deanna doesn’t seemed as pleased as she was on his first day to catch him staring though.

“Really, Sam? This is suppose to help?” Deanna shouts again, and Castiel realises that Sam did not enter the room behind him and had shut the door after Castiel. “I’m going through one of the worst pains known to a girl and you bring _another man_ into the house?!”

She lets another pained groaned and curls into a fetal position, burying her face in her pillow. Castiel quickly moves to the side of her bed and bends over, frowning. He wants to ask if she’s okay, but he thinks Deanna would smack him for asking such an obvious question.   
  
He settles for, “Is there anything I can do to help, Deanna?” instead, and Deanna turns her head just enough to peer at him. She doesn’t speak for a while, and Castiel sees her eyes flicker downwards before darting upwards again.

“Personal space, Cas,” she says, her voice small, and Castiel realises how close he’d unknowingly gotten to her. He mumbles an apology and takes a step back, wondering how on earth Sam could have possibly thought Castiel would be of any help.

“There weren’t many girls around me when I grew up,” Castiel explains, breaking the uneasy silence that follows. “My mother died giving birth to me and the only other female family member I have is my cousin, Anna, but I don’t think she had period cramps at all.”

“Lucky,” Deanna replies. Then she pauses, looking down at her own bed. “My mother died when I was young too,” she says softly.

“Oh,” Castiel replies stupidly, and hates himself for it.

“She died in a fire in our old home,” Deanna continues, and if she’s noticed Castiel’s lack of a proper reply, she doesn’t mention it. “Dad spent years trying to catch the asshole who set our house on fire, jumping from place to place with anyone who’d even heard of news of the guy, and he brought me and Sammy with him wherever he went. If Bobby hadn’t offered to let us stay with him instead, we’d probably be in some other state waiting to move again.”

She winces again at what he figures is another painful cramp, pulling her knees closes to her chest. “I used to wish I was a boy,” she says, voice almost as soft as a whisper now. “Especially when I had cramps like these. Wish I could have been the son Dad was yearning for -- tall and strong enough to catch Mum’s killer. Sammy would have been perfect for that, but he didn’t want to have anything to do with what Dad did.”

Deanna is frowning, staring transfixed at the floor, and Castiel knows the vexation shown on her face is not just because of her menstrual pains. It hits him then that she’s sharing a defining parts of her history with him, and he’s incredibly touched at the trust it must mean she has in him.

He somehow gets the feeling that Deanna must be sick of the sympathetic responses thrown her way, so instead he tells her his own story. He tells her about his eldest brothers -- Michael, who was the eldest and felt the need to take care of the family while their father was away, and Luke, who never liked how Michael would always follow their father’s orders without questioning them, and the fights that ensued between them. A large part of Castiel’s memories comprise of their loud arguments, which culminated in physical fights more often than not. He tells them how Raphael always supported Michael, which only served to spur on Luke’s hatred, and how Gabriel stayed out of the house most of the time to avoid these fights. He tells Deanna how his father was never at home to stop any of this, always using work as his excuse.

“I also think my brothers think I’m responsible for our mother’s death,” he whispers. The _sometimes I think they’re right_ goes unspoken, but he knows Deanna hears it anyway. It’s almost cathartic to finally admit that out loud, though, and it feels like a vice-like grip he didn’t even realise was there is released. Deanna stares at him for a long while after, eyebrows furrowed, and then she sighs.

“I guess we’re both more than a little fucked up,” she says, grabbing a bolster and hugging it close to herself. “But that’s enough period-induced sharing and chick flick moments for today. I’m going to stay curled up here and wonder if ripping out my uterus will be more painful than these goddamn cramps and you’re going to get me some nice, hot pie so we can pretend this awkward conversation didn’t happen.”

Castiel smiles at that, moving to get up. But Sam comes in just then, plastic bags in his hands. The smell of freshly-baked pastry wafts around the room, and Deanna moves to grab the pie from him. She lets out a contented sigh when she places the warm carton on her lower abdomen (Castiel looks determinedly away) as Sam reaches into another bag and pulls out pink pills that he explains are supposed to help with the pain.

Later on, when Sam thanks him for “putting up with them and saving his ass” as Castiel is about to head home, Castiel shakes his head and tells Sam that he’s the one who should be thanking them.

 

*

 

“Hey, Cas.”

Castiel is not surprised to see Deanna when he turns around from his locker. Deanna’s voice (and presence in general) has become a constant in his life, and he is glad for it. Deanna doesn’t look as pleased, however. She’s frowning and biting her (very pink and glossy, but Castiel has to stop that train of thought) lips, staring at something beyond Castiel’s shoulder.

“Deanna? Are you okay?” he asks.

“What?” She’s startled by the question, but she quickly calms herself and shakes her head. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I was just… Distracted.” There’s a sudden flash of determination in her eyes as she finally looks up at him. “Are you free tonight?”

He blinks, slightly thrown off by Deanna’s unusual behaviour. “I am. Are we having another movie marathon tonight?”

Deanna laughs, and things are normal again. “Nah, maybe next weekend. We can do dinner, though. I’ll pick you up at seven?”

“I’d like that,” he replies, smiling. He thinks he sees Deanna’s cheeks flush, but she’s beaming back at him, so he doesn’t bring it up.

It hits him later that he probably should have agreed to meet Deanna at her house or wherever they’re having dinner instead, because he forgot that Gabriel will be coming home for the weekend. Gabriel is easily his favourite brother, but his sarcasm and snarky comments tend to rub people the wrong way, and Castiel doesn’t want to risk that with Deanna.

But Gabriel pounces on him the moment Castiel returns home from school, telling Castiel to leave his homework be as he rants endlessly about culinary school while pretending not to love it. And once Castiel manages to tell his brother that he won’t be able to taste all the dishes he’s learnt over the year that night because of his arrangement with Deanna, Gabriel’s look of irritation quickly turns to surprise and then smugness.

“My little brother’s all grown up,” he says, reaching out to pat Castiel on his back. The pats turn to hard hits, though, when Castiel tells him that Gabriel can’t quite call him “little” anymore when Castiel’s now taller than him.

Unfortunately, Gabriel decides to wait with Castiel for Deanna’s arrival. He tries to get Castiel to change into skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt supplied by himself, but Castiel doesn’t see a need to -- he’s been to plenty other places with his friends in clothes much sloppier than his sweater vest -- and refuses. 

When Deanna arrives his house a little past seven, they’re sitting at the table, Gabriel waiting for water to boil for his own dinner, and Castiel trying to finish up a History essay. The doorbell rings, and Gabriel jumps to his feet and rushes to get the door before Castiel can put his pen down. Castiel hears Gabriel’s enthusiastic greeting and introduction, followed by Deanna’s slightly hesitant reply, and groans. 

“It would be best to treat everything Gabriel says as a lie,” Castiel says to Deanna when he finally makes it to the door. Deanna laughs, and Castiel grins back at her. She’s wearing a tight-fitting black tank top and ripped jeans, her leather jacket slung over one shoulder, and Castiel tries not to let his eyes linger on the way her clothes sticks to her curves. 

“You didn’t tell me your brother was in town, Cas,” she says.

“It slipped my mind--”

“Oh, but _Cas_ has told me so much about you,” Gabriel cuts in, and Castiel is growing wary of that leer on his brother’s face. “He always brings you up in his letters and--”

“Deanna,” Castiel says, a little louder than necessary. He hopes he isn’t turning as red as he thinks he is. “Perhaps we should leave my brother to enjoy his own dinner.”

“Fine, go have fun and leave this old man to rot at home,” Gabriel says dramatically, and Deanna barks out another laugh. Then he turns to Deanna, one eyebrow raised, and adds, “Bring my brother home safe, yeah?”

“Of course,” Deanna answers, just as Castiel replies, “I can take care of myself.”

Gabriel ruffles Castiel’s hair one last time before they leave and head back to the Impala. The drive there is comfortable as always, and they talk about the woes of having siblings when Deanna isn’t singing along to the AC/DC tape she put in.

She brings him to a small Japanese restaurant that he has yet to visit. It’s quaint and fairly empty, and Castiel smiles gratefully at Deanna for remembering his dislike of large crowds. He’s slightly surprised, however, when Deanna only asks for a table for two.

“Sam’s meeting Jess’ parents today,” Deanna explains when he asks about the others. “And Charlie and Jo have the nightshift at the Roadhouse tonight. I found Jo’s wallet in my baby, though, so we’ll have to drop by later to return it to her.”

He nods, and they start looking through the menu and deciding which set looks the best. Dinner feels different from their usual meals together without Sam and the rest, but he enjoys it anyway. Deanna fills up their empty spaces with spirited laughter and jokes. Not for the first time, he thanks the God he’s not sure if he still believes in for ever bringing such a bright soul into his life.

“Cas?” Deanna says. “You’re doing that staring thing again.”

Castiel shakes himself out of his momentary reverie and smile apologetically. “I’m sorry. I got lost in my own thoughts again.”

“Am I that boring?” she asks, frowning.

“No!” he says hurriedly. “I just--”

“Joking, Cas,” she says, chuckling now. “I was just just joking. I was kind of waiting for an opening, anyway. I, uh, made you something.”

She reaches into her bag and pulls out a slim disc case. When she hands it over to him, he takes it gingerly and turns it around in his hand in awe. There’s a square piece of paper stuck to the back of the cover that reads “For Cas” in small but messy handwriting in the bottom right corner.

“It’s mixtape. Or a mixdisc, whatever,” she says, and when Castiel looks up, she’s doesn’t look back at him. Instead, she stares down at her half-eaten ramen. “I would have put it on an actual tape, but I’ve seen your house and I don’t think you own anything that could play music apart from your laptop, so yeah. Mixdisc. I think you can guess what songs are going to be in there -- and you’ve probably heard most of them in the Impala already -- but these songs are classics and you need to have a copy of them, at least--”

“Deanna,” he interrupts. She’s rambling, which probably means she expects him to say something instead of staring stupidly at the gift. There are a million things he wants to say, but can’t quite put them into words, so he settles for, “Thank you. This means a lot to me.”

And it’s the truth. He’s associated classic rock songs with Deanna early on in their friendship, and it feels like he’s receiving a part of her along with the mix.

“Good,” Deanna replies, her grin wide and just as sincere. “The time spent searching for digital copies for these songs didn’t go to waste, then.” 

Deanna starts telling him her reasons behind the tracks she’s selected as they finish up their food. Castiel doesn’t think he will be able to remember it all, but he listens attentively anyway. He likes the sound of Deanna’s voice, after all.

Apparently, there are quite a number of songs on the disc, because they talk about them even after they’ve settled the bill (Deanna insisted on paying for both their meals, but Castiel plans to leave his share in the Impala before she drops him off at home) and all the way to the Roadhouse.

Ellen Harvelle is busy talking to some customers when they arrive, so they decide not to make their way over to her. Deanna waves her hand in Ellen’s direction just to let her know they’re here, and then she leads Castiel to the back room where the bartenders normally take a break if they aren’t out serving customers.

“Hey, you left yo--” Deanna begins when she pushes open the door, and then freezes in her tracks. Castiel nearly walks into her and is about to ask her what’s wrong when he finally looks up.

He expected to Jo and Charlie here, since they weren’t out front, but he didn’t expect to see Jo and Charlie. Kissing, he means. At first, his brain stupidly supplies, “CPR”, but he realises a little slowly that that usually only takes place when one of them has fainted. And Jo and Charlie are on their feet, with Jo pressed against the wall, her body covered by Charlie’s. They’re plastered against each other, hands moving up and down each other’s bodies.

Logically, Castiel should walk away and respect their privacy, but something locks him in place and he can only stare at his two friends furiously making out. And then one of them -- his brain is too fried to process if it’s Charlie or Jo -- moans loudly and the heat rises so fast in him he thinks he’s about to explode if he stays any longer. 

Charlie notices them then, as Jo presses kisses to the side of her neck. She carefully takes in Castiel’s shocked face, her own expression unreadable, and for a moment, Castiel is worried that she’ll be upset at them.

Charlie winks, and then turns back to Jo.

Castiel hears Deanna chuckling from some far off place and he only gets to watch Jo and Charlie for a while longer before he’s led outside, fingers wrapped around his wrist.

Deanna is still laughing when the door closes behind them. “Only Charlie,” she manages to wheeze. “I’m going to kill the two of them tomorrow, though. Two of our friends get hitched and neither of them tells me anything? I’m-- Cas?”

“I--” Castiel tries, still trying to blink the image away from his mind. He feels embarrassingly hot everywhere and the patch of skin that Deanna’s fingers touched is still tingling. “That is-- Charlie and Jo-- I, ah. Um.”

Deanna walks in front of him, leaning forward and peering up at his face even as Castiel tries to hide the blush on his face. There is a smirk playing on her lips.

“That shocking, huh?” she says. She looks down for a moment and back up again, her smirk growing more wicked. “Looks like you enjoyed watching them, though.”

“ _Deanna!_ ” he says hoarsely, appalled at her bluntness. He turns around to hide his obvious “enjoyment” from Deanna and hides his face in his hands. “You’re making-- You’re making things even more difficult to cope with.”

“‘Difficult’? ‘‘Cope’?” Deanna asks, her face suddenly turning serious. “I hope your issue isn’t with the two of them being girls, because if it is--”

“That’s not it,” Castiel clarifies hurriedly. “I just-- I feel guilty. We stumbled onto something private and I didn’t walk away immediately. It was disrespectful.”

“Oh,” Deanna says, and the corners of her lips tilt upwards again. “Well, if they didn’t want to get caught they should have chosen a better place to get to second base.”

That brings up the image of Jo and Charlie in Castiel’s mind again, and he groans loudly into his hands, wondering how red he can get before the night ends. He wants the ground to swallow him whole, but Deanna just laughs again and tells him to head into the Impala first so she can hand over Jo’s wallet to her mother instead.

 

*

 

“So,” Deanna says when she follows him up to the front of his house, “Tonight has been unexpected.”

“To put it mildly, yes,” Castiel agrees. He had to sit with his hands crossed in front of him the whole ride home, much to Deanna’s amusement and his mortification.

Deanna laughs, and Castiel is momentarily entranced by the ways her eyes light up as she does. 

“Thanks for tonight,” Deanna says, leaning against the door, looking up at Castiel with her long, long lashes. “I had fun.”

“So did I,” Castiel says honestly. “I’m glad I could keep you company while the rest were busy.”

They stand out on the porch for a while, just staring at each other and smiling. Even under the dim lighting of the streetlamps, Deanna still looks wonderful. Her cheeks are slightly flushed from the cold night air and at this proximity, Castiel can still make out the green of her eyes. She’s biting her lower lip again, probably unknowingly (Castiel has been around her long enough to know that it’s a habit of hers), and he realises how close their faces are. Maybe it’s because of seeing Charlie and Jo earlier, he’s suddenly overcome with an urge to press his lips to hers.

He almost acts on it too, because his mind almost tricks him into believing that Deanna is lowering her eyelids just a little and that she’s leaning even more forward. But he stops himself just barely, pulling back abruptly. He knows his feelings towards to Deanna are not completely platonic, but he’s done his best to quell them and keep them under wraps. He can’t risk ruining their friendship by doing something untoward, not when Deanna has become so integral in his life.

“Cas?” Deanna says, and Castiel can tell she’s upset instantly, and he feels like punching himself.

“I-I’m sorry,” Castiel stutters, averting his eyes as he digs his keys out of his pocket. “I shouldn’t have-- I just-- I should go in now.” 

He can’t see her face because he’s busying himself with his lock and desperately looking at anywhere else, but he knows she’s frowning. He wants to bang his head against the door for ruining a perfectly good night.

“Have a good night, Deanna,” he tries to say once he gets the door open, turning around to face her. “I truly am sorry.”

Deanna’s arms are crossed, hands holding onto her shoulders. She doesn’t look up at him.

 “It’s fine,” she mumbles. “Night, Cas.”

And she heads back to the Impala without another word.

 

*

 

Castiel’s (frankly unrealistic) hope that everything will go on as per normal falls flat. Deanna doesn’t text him about his day or send him pictures of things that she finds funny over the weekend, and Castiel realises he’s never been the one to start conversations over the phone with her. But he knows it’s not a good time to start, especially when Deanna is upset with him.

He doesn’t cope with Deanna’s silence very well. He tries starting on assignments that aren’t due for weeks to distract himself, but it doesn’t work. He ends up reading the same sentences over and over again without processing anything, and he gets nothing done. He misses Deanna so much it aches, and in the end he settles on holing himself in his room and loathing himself for ruining the best relationship he’s ever had with anyone.

It isn’t hard to guess what happened, and Gabriel, thankfully, doesn’t say anything about it. Knowing his brother, Castiel is surprised Gabriel isn’t constantly pestering him to “man up” and just do something about it. Castiel must look pretty horrible with his unshaven and generally unkempt appearance for Gabriel to leave him to marinate in his misery. Gabriel does bake him all sorts of pastries, though, and they are as delicious as Gabriel tells him they will be. Castiel doesn’t have that big an appetite, but he appreciates the effort all the same, and he’s reminded of why Gabriel is his favourite.

On the night he’s supposed to leave, however, Gabriel finally brings up the white elephant in the room. They’re waiting out on the porch (Castiel tries to suppress the memories of what happened just two nights earlier) and waiting with Gabriel’s luggage for the cab that will take him back to the airport.

“She likes pie, right?” he asks. At Castiel’s confused look, he continues, “Don’t be stupid. You know who I’m talking about. I made some over the weekend and left it in the fridge. Give it to her and apologise already.”

Castiel smiles sadly. “As appetising as your baking is, Gabriel, I don’t think I can win Deanna’s trust back so easily.”

 “Hey, it wasn’t easy! I slaved over the oven for hours for you, little bro,” Gabriel says, all faux anger. Then his face becomes serious again. “Just give it a shot. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life moping, right? Because if you are, I’m not visiting you ever again.”

Castiel laughs dryly just as Gabriel’s cab pulls up in front of them. He helps put Gabriel’s things into the boot and he reaches out to shake his brother’s hand in goodbye, but Gabriel surprises him by pulling him into a hug.

 “You can fix things,” Gabriel says into his ears, and then lets go. He grins at Castiel. “Don’t say hi to Dad for me.”

“I’ll pass the message,” Castiel replies, waving as Gabriel gets into the car. He stands there until he can’t see the cab any longer, and then he sighs loudly with the realisation that he’s alone again.

 

*

 

Deanna doesn’t come to school on Monday.

It feels like a punch to the gut for Castiel. He expected Deanna to not talk to him and give him the cold shoulder in class, but he didn’t know she would miss school completely just to avoid him. He spends most of his lessons that day thinking about the pie in his locker that will spoil unless he brings himself to eat it later.

A small part of him hopes that Deanna is staying at home for some other reason that isn’t him, but that hope is quenched when Sam and Jess approach him at his locker after school. He’s slightly thankful for Jo’s absence, because he knows he’ll start thinking about _things_ and then he’ll think about what he nearly did to Deanna and he won’t be able to hold a proper conversation with anyone. But it’s a small relief, for Sam’s expression is grim and Jess’ worried.

“I don’t know what happened between you and Dee,” Sam says before Castiel can even get a word in. “But I do know that she’s broken into Bobby’s alcohol cupboard at least five times since you guys had that date, and that she glares at any of us if we even bring up your name. She’s nursing a hangover today and you’re lucky Bobby isn’t in town right now, or he’ll come after you once he’s done yelling at Deanna into the next century or so--”

Castiel can only gape at Sam, not processing anything that followed the word “date”.

“Date?” he manages to choke out, when Jess asks if he’s okay. “We weren’t out on a date.”

Sam raises an eyebrow disbelievingly. “Really? You go out for dinner to a restaurant with only the two of you and you don’t think it’s a date?”

“I assumed it was because the rest of you were busy,” Castiel answers truthfully, head still reeling.

“Oh my god,” Sam groans, planting his face into his palm. “You mean you guys aren’t talking just because of some stupid misunderstanding? She’s crazy about you, Cas! And I thought she was being so obvious about it too!” 

“She must have thought you were letting her down gently,” Jess explains, her frown deepening.

“‘Misunderstanding’? ‘Let her down’?” Castiel repeats, even more confused than ever. “But I-- And she-- She’s not upset that I nearly kissed her?”

“I already told you she hasn’t spoken a word to me since-- Wait, _what?_ ” Sam stares at him with wide eyes, his eyebrows shooting up behind his fringe.

Castiel barely grasps what is happening either, so he tells them everything. He tells them about the great Japanese food and the mixdisc he hasn’t listened to since that night because he feels so guilty, about going to the Roadhouse to return Jo’s wallet and seeing Jo and Charlie unexpectedly. He tells them about how Deanna had commented on his arousal -- “Too much information, Cas,” Sam interrupts -- and how pretty Deanna had looked and how he had only just stopped himself from closing the space between them.

Sam looks stunned when Castiel finishes. “ _Charlie and Jo?_ ” is all he can say, incredulous.

“About time, too,” Jess comments from his side, and Sam’s head jerks towards her in shock.

“You knew?!” he asks, and Jess’ resulting smile is smug yet secretive.

As much as Castiel is astonished at Jess’ hidden knowledge as well, he has more pressing matters to deal with. Realisation dawns on him, and he gasps.

“I have to see Deanna,” he says, turning around quickly to take the pie out of his locker and almost closing the locker door on his fingers in his haste. He thanks Sam and Jess for clearing things up before he leaves, but Sam is too busy looking at his girlfriend with a mixture of confusion and awe.

“Good luck!” Jess calls after him.

 

*

 

Castiel is just about to ring the doorbell of Bobby Singer’s house when he hears noises coming from the garage. He finds Deanna lying on her back, upper body underneath the Impala. She’s in a dirty old t-shirt and shorts, and suddenly, all of Castiel’s determination to make things right melts away, replaced by nerves.

What if Sam and Jess misinterpreted the situation, and he’s about to ruin everything again? What if Deanna doesn’t accept his apology regardless? What if--

He shakes his head. Now is not the time to mull over all of this, he tells himself. He’s done something wrong, one way or another, and he has to fix it.

“Deanna?” he says, and he sees Deanna startle.

There’s a loud thunk when her head hits the bottom of the Impala, and she yelps loudly. Castiel rushes over immediately, dropping the pie next to him.

“Are you okay?” he asks, as Deanna pulls herself from under the car and sits up. She looks tired, face free of makeup again and bags under her eyes telling of her lack of sleep. Her forehead is already red too, and Castiel winces, using his fingers to rub the sore spot.

“Cas?” she says, and Castiel can’t find words to describe how much he’s missed her voice.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, fingers still moving in small circles on her forehead. “I should have called first, or waited until you got up.”

Deanna doesn’t answer right away, and for a moment Castiel is worried she’s having a concussion.

“I should get some ice for that,” he says, moving to get up.

“... Cas,” Deanna says suddenly, absolutely still . Softly.

“Yes?”

“Please don’t.”

Castiel freezes. He’s never heard Deanna’s voice so devoid of emotion before, but he presses on. “It’ll help with the swelling,” he says, trying to ignore how shaky his voice sounds. “We should probably see a doctor too, just in case, but I don’t think you’d like that--”

“ _Don’t,_ ” Deanna cuts in sharply. “Just leave, okay? I’m too sober to deal with this.”

He almost does so, his stomach lurching at Deanna’s words and stiff demeanour. But Gabriel’s words from the night before echo in his head, and he slowly sits across Deanna. She looks at him as though she’s crazy, but he has to clear things up. He takes a deep breath and looks at her straight in the eye.

“Deanna, do you like me?” he asks, still not letting himself believe it until he hears it from her mouth. 

Deanna turns bright red. She looks away from him and glares at the ground instead, mumbling something he can’t make out.

“Deanna, please,” Castiel says, and she looks up sharply at him.

“I said, of course I do, you asshole,” Deanna snaps. “Which is why I picked you up and brought you to some ridiculous restaurant that isn’t the Roadhouse, gave you a mixtape and _nearly fucking kissed you outside your house!_ ” 

Castiel blinks. “You tried to kiss me?”

“I just--” Deanna continues, almost angry. “I thought the mood was right, you know? You were just there, smiling in your stupid sweater vest that would look ridiculous on anyone else, and your lips just looked so fucking kissable. I didn’t even know what I was doing until I was right in front of you.”

 _She tried to kiss me_ , Castiel repeats to himself, but he still can’t quite believe it.

“But I guess I read the signs wrongly,” she finishes, and her shoulders slump downwards. “Look, if you’re here to apologise again or see if I’m fine, just drop it because I don’t want your pity.” She moves to stand up, but Castiel catches her wrist and covers her hand with his.

“Deanna,” he says, “I apologised that night because I was about to kiss you, too. I thought I was about to ruin our friendship.”

Deanna opens her mouth to say something, but she can only stare at Castiel in disbelief. Relief washes over Castiel, and he smiles widely at her, using his free hand to pick up the almost forgotten pie beside him. 

“I brought apple pie to apologise,” he says. “Gabriel made it, so I can assure you that it is edible. In fact, I’m sure it’ll be quite-- _mmph!_ ” 

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Deanna grabs the back of his head and pulls him forward, mashing their lips together. It’s messy and hurts a little, with their noses bumping into each other and Castiel’s lip getting cut on his teeth, but Deanna soon relents and aligns their faces properly, the pressure on his lips gentler. She smells of grease and sweat with a hint of shampoo, and Castiel thinks she smells amazing, closing his eyes and smiling into the kiss.

They stay like that for a long time, with Deanna’s tongue slowly licking its way into Castiel’s mouth halfway through, and Castiel trying to do the same. They break apart eventually, though, because the sun is starting to shine into the garage and the heat starts to become uncomfortable.

“We’re idiots, aren’t we?” Deanna says, laughing.

“To be fair, I was the one who didn’t notice you were trying to court me,” Castiel replies, and Deanna snorts.

“Well, I didn’t say it outright, either,” Deanna concedes. She presses a quick kiss to Castiel’s lips. “But I’m glad we got that sorted out.”

“Me too,” Castiel says.

“I should warn you, though -- things with me are never going to be easy,” she says, looking serious. “I have so many issues I could fill a book with them, I get unreasonably angry when I’m on my period, and Sam calls me the most emotionally-constipated person he knows.”

She looks uneasy now, and Castiel reaches out to cup her face, his thumb stroking her cheek gently.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> This started months as mostly a self-indulgent fic, because I couldn't get the idea of girl!Dean trying to woo Castiel out of my head, and I forgot about this for the longest time. Then I opened my WIPs folder one day and decided that I refused to have only one fic up on AO3 any longer and became determined to finish it!! orz
> 
> Deanna isn’t as dominating as I initially intended, but I’m glad I finally finished it anyway! This fic was also supposed to have smut (with Deanna taking Castiel's virginity by riding him in the Impala uwu) but I think I'll add that in to this series later on hehe.
> 
> Edit: I've removed the "genderbending" tag on this fic having recently learnt that the term can be quite offensive. I'm really sorry if that has made anyone upset! u_u


End file.
